It's been a long time coming - but here I am in my journey! First of all I have to thank the many friends and family who continually call, text and bless me with their thoughts and prayers and gifts! I never dreamed it would mean so much. Tears flow every time there are gestures of His love shown through anyone!
On the 30th of August I had my long awaited surgery. I think the turning point was the last chemo treatment to which I showed some allergic reactions. It was excruciating! The first 4 treatments went really fine and I was able to bounce back after each one in about 4-5 days. But this chemo was a different one and side effects were just awful - I knew something was very wrong . After doing another mammogram - they discovered there was no shown improvement in the size of the tumor, which was absolutely crazy. At that point I pulled the plug on the chemo and said I was ready for surgery. It was the right choice.
My sister Barbara came and cared for me for a few days after I came home. I am very appreciative of all of my sisters and their love. The surgery was successful and they got very clean margins on the cancerous area. My heavenly Father has walked so close with me everyday. Every morning He gives me manna to get me through that day. It is a fresh word that sustains me every day. The pain from surgery has certainly slowed me down - however - I have restarted my piano lessons in the 2nd and 3rd week of Sept. - hallelujah! I figure I can work 1 to 2 hours a day! Also I have 2 jewelry shows booked in October!
Speaking of the manna - I am learning endurance. I have described myself as a "get er done" type of girl. I am very active and wake up with a plan every day. When my 88 year old Mom lived with me for 7 years - that is how I described her! Every morning she had a plan of what she needed to do - one day it was "Let's gt to Walmart and buy some new buttons for this coat!" Of course she'd had the coat for 35 plus years!! But she wouldn't rest until we got those buttons! I guess that's why she lived to be almost 92!
I am very much the same - Like I originally said - "This does not change the plans and purposes of God for my life" - However - it does change when and how they get done. there are days when I just can't stand another doctor appointment or sitting around doing nothing, because I feel like a sloth. I find myself always wanting things to be over.
One morning I was reading in one of my devotionals and I got the word - "You can pick the rose early - but it will not bloom." Mmmm... In my rush to want to move things on - I wasn't considering how God was doing such a work in my heart and life. There are some trials that take so much longer than we want. Whether it's watching your children go through things - wishing they did not have to go through the normal learning things of life, or facing divorce or a death that just has to work itself out in a time of healing, it all takes TIME. I'm learning to let go of time. He is in control. (You'd think I would have learned that long ago!)
Last week I got another dose of reality! I have been very focused on trying to have this all behind me in one year. Weeelll...I met with the surgeon and the oncologist and got my pathology report. It was a little more grim than I was hoping. The cancer was in 5 of the 8 lymph nodes they extracted. Also, in my case, the cancer is totally fed by estrogen and progesterone. Without any more treatment, the cancer has an 80 % chance of coming back. I've been very focused on being done with things. I know I am facing some reconstruction and I was hoping for this to be on a continual track and be done in a few months. Not gonna happen.
The strong realization is that it is going to take another year of my life. I have to put my focus on my health - not just hurrying through this ordeal. I have a lot of choices to make. They want me to have radiation. Thank God - no more chemo! Come to find out - it is relatively ineffective on hormone fed tumors! They didn't know it was fed that much by hormones. I am carefully researching and reading everything I can. The best advice I can give to anyone who goes through this is read - read - read!!! I have tried to educate myself. In fact I have to tell you one really cool story!
I had read in one of my books by one of the top surgeons about what kind of anesthesia should be used during breast cancer surgery. Right before surgery I met with the anesthesiologist, which is to be expected. What he wasn't expecting was the 2 page article I had on what anesthesia should be used. It kind of threw him! He read and talked and read and talked. At the end of the meeting he thanked me for challenging him and we used a different method of knocking me out!
Also right before surgery 2 people, unknown to me, offered to pray for me - saying they felt led by the Lord! Then while my sister, my husband and son were all there - I grabbed the hand of the surgeon and said I wanted to pray over her hands. I prayed for gifted hands - that God would lead her. She is a precious Christian.
To wind up this long scenario - I want to share what manna I received this morning. Being that I am a musician - God really knew how to speak to me.
(Gee what a shock!) This is a portion from "Streams in the Desert".
"Not without design does God write the music of our lives. Be it ours to earn the tune and not be dismayed by the "rests". They are not to be slurred over, not to be omitted, not to destroy the melody, not to change the keynote. If we look up, God Himself will beat the time for us. With the eye on Him, we shall strike the next note full and clear. If we sadly say to ourselves "there is no music - in the 'rests' let us not forget "there is the making of music in it" The making of music is often a slow and painful process in this life. How patiently God works to teach us! How long He waits for us to learn the lesson!
Tomorrow morning Robbie and I leave for Washington DC. We have the honor of singing at a political event there! God is gracious to give us this opportunity. I am excited to get away and enjoy this 3 day event. Thank you Father writing the music for our lives as you have so faithfully done for many years!
Love to you all,
Martha
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
Seeing His Face
Hello Dear Friends!
Thank you so much for your wonderful thoughts and comments on my blog. I hope I did not offend anyone with my bluntness. In my passion about what I was learning about my own unhealthy ways and the urgency for radical change in my own life, I could have been more tactful communicating it. So please forgive me.
Tomorrow I go in for my 4th chemo treatment. I will be out of commission, so to speak, for a few days, so I wanted to get this next part of the blog out before it feels like mud in my stomach!
So I'm here to share with you the blessings that have come my way in the past few months. They are kind of amazing. In fact a few weeks ago I began recording them - because they are very significant when it comes to showing the Glory of God. That Glory comes through HIS people!
One of things that face you during a cancer battle is fear. You go to sleep thinking of it and wake up thinking about 'what if." Especially in the beginning. It's kind of like you are in shock. It's difficult to be around people sometimes - if you know me very well - you know that is not me in the natural!
One morning way back in January, I remember a vicious attack from the enemy. I was awake around 4:30 am and the voice of the enemy was screaming at me - it was one of the most horrendous events in my Christian life. It lasted for about 1/12 hours. Every accusation that could destroy me was thrown in my face. Everything from financial ruin - to Robbie having another heart attack - to my death plans! I wanted to text some close friends to pray for me - but I was paralyzed with fear. I finally pulled myself together and began fighting and standing against the enemy. You know when the enemy feeds you lies - there is always an element of truth that just 'could be' true. That is why you entertain the thoughts in the first place. Keep that in mind the next time the destroyer tries to feed you lies.
Right after that event the power of God began to fall in my life. There are so many wonderful things that began coming my way - all through the Body of Christ. I want to share a powerful scripture that you have heard before. It is 1 John 4: 11-12 Beloved if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. vs.12 no one has beheld God at any time - if we love one another, God abides in us and His love is perfected in us. As I was reading this I was overwhelmed with "No one has beheld God at any time" - BUT if we love one another - I realized we really SEE HIM! Interesting that those two thoughts are back to back in the Word. Plus His love is perfected in us when we allow ourselves to be that vessel. I don't think I have ever been on the receiving end of really beholding HIM like I have in the past few months. I have had such an outpouring of His Love through friends and family. It lets me know everyday He loves me.
I will not mention names, but events that have happened and how they let me see HIS LOVE for me. The following is a list of these miracles:
I just wanted everyone to know how blessed I have been and how it really is the love of God and His very face I see through these loving actions. Quite a few years ago I had a friend of mine's husband who really did not like to do yard work. One of his co-workers got cancer - the husband went every Saturday for one year and did his yard work for him - mowing and edging and all that needed to be done! It spoke volumes to me. No one ever knew of his loving actions.
I try to think of others around me that I can give to and encourage. I don't want my focus to be so much on myself. It is humbling when the Father shows His love to me in this great way.
I leave you with this thought - find someone to show His wonderful love and they will see His face eventually. It may be someone you don't even know!
In His Love,
Martha
Thank you so much for your wonderful thoughts and comments on my blog. I hope I did not offend anyone with my bluntness. In my passion about what I was learning about my own unhealthy ways and the urgency for radical change in my own life, I could have been more tactful communicating it. So please forgive me.
Tomorrow I go in for my 4th chemo treatment. I will be out of commission, so to speak, for a few days, so I wanted to get this next part of the blog out before it feels like mud in my stomach!
So I'm here to share with you the blessings that have come my way in the past few months. They are kind of amazing. In fact a few weeks ago I began recording them - because they are very significant when it comes to showing the Glory of God. That Glory comes through HIS people!
One of things that face you during a cancer battle is fear. You go to sleep thinking of it and wake up thinking about 'what if." Especially in the beginning. It's kind of like you are in shock. It's difficult to be around people sometimes - if you know me very well - you know that is not me in the natural!
One morning way back in January, I remember a vicious attack from the enemy. I was awake around 4:30 am and the voice of the enemy was screaming at me - it was one of the most horrendous events in my Christian life. It lasted for about 1/12 hours. Every accusation that could destroy me was thrown in my face. Everything from financial ruin - to Robbie having another heart attack - to my death plans! I wanted to text some close friends to pray for me - but I was paralyzed with fear. I finally pulled myself together and began fighting and standing against the enemy. You know when the enemy feeds you lies - there is always an element of truth that just 'could be' true. That is why you entertain the thoughts in the first place. Keep that in mind the next time the destroyer tries to feed you lies.
Right after that event the power of God began to fall in my life. There are so many wonderful things that began coming my way - all through the Body of Christ. I want to share a powerful scripture that you have heard before. It is 1 John 4: 11-12 Beloved if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. vs.12 no one has beheld God at any time - if we love one another, God abides in us and His love is perfected in us. As I was reading this I was overwhelmed with "No one has beheld God at any time" - BUT if we love one another - I realized we really SEE HIM! Interesting that those two thoughts are back to back in the Word. Plus His love is perfected in us when we allow ourselves to be that vessel. I don't think I have ever been on the receiving end of really beholding HIM like I have in the past few months. I have had such an outpouring of His Love through friends and family. It lets me know everyday He loves me.
I will not mention names, but events that have happened and how they let me see HIS LOVE for me. The following is a list of these miracles:
- My dear husband standing with me and loving me like Christ loves the church - no matter what I look or feel like! He's been a great house keeper and servant!
- My son and daughter-in-law checking on me constantly.
- I was given a book "Susan Love's Breast Book" - it looked like a medical journal - my first thought was "oh no" I'll never be able to understand this! It has been the BEST resource about breast cancer out there! It is the 6th edition of it's kind by a surgeon from UCLA.
- Close friend sent me 3 books - about prayer and standing in God. Wonderful!
- Someone paying for an extra consultation for a surgeon not included in my insurance.
- I was sent a "Soma" gift card from a dear friend - so I could enjoy some luxurious pj's!
- A close friend had me over for a prayer time and Essential oils gift. Then she set up and paid for a massage with Essential Oils and the gal prophesied over me! It was very powerful!
- My sister's bought me a really nice wig - looks so much like my own hair!
- Another dear friend gave me a "words of encouragement jar" Everyday a thought or scripture that encourages me!
- Besides my "Jesus Calling" devotional book, a dear friend gave me a "Streams in the Desert" devotional with a journal. I have faithfully recorded the things Jesus has spoken to me.
- An unexpected post of Facebook started an avalanche of blessings and wishes coming my way!
- Multiple texts and private messages to encourage me.
- The House church stepped up to the plate and filled in when I couldn't do what I regularly have done. Including having meetings in THEIR home!
- Numerous meals brought by my sisters and other friends! A wonderful help.
- A dear friend brought me a HUGE bag full of goodies to help me with my chemo journey - she has walked that road before me! Everything from Ruby Red slippers (in case I want to go home!) to Miralax - mmmmm Thank you Jesus!
- Unspoken financial gifts that have blessed us with helping pay the astronomical healthcare bills, even though we have insurance.
- My sister coaching me through my eating and cooking.
- Shortly into the journey a wonderful new couple showed up at one of our House Churches - she was a Nutritional Therapist! - I was praying for a nutritional person to help me!
- I think it was the day before my first chemo treatment, I came home to a very large box at my door step. It was a HUGE sign that says "Hope - anchors the soul - Hebrews 6:19" - It fit above my fireplace and is gorgeous! It was a total surprise sent to me from a dear friend and her daughter!
I just wanted everyone to know how blessed I have been and how it really is the love of God and His very face I see through these loving actions. Quite a few years ago I had a friend of mine's husband who really did not like to do yard work. One of his co-workers got cancer - the husband went every Saturday for one year and did his yard work for him - mowing and edging and all that needed to be done! It spoke volumes to me. No one ever knew of his loving actions.
I try to think of others around me that I can give to and encourage. I don't want my focus to be so much on myself. It is humbling when the Father shows His love to me in this great way.
I leave you with this thought - find someone to show His wonderful love and they will see His face eventually. It may be someone you don't even know!
In His Love,
Martha
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
"In The Beginning" - My Journey
Hello friends and family - I'm going to take this time to share with you how my journey began and how gracious God has been to me through it all! This first episode is a little longer - but other ones won't be. Just had to give some background.
Back in mid December I felt an odd lump in my breast. We had just enjoyed a nice evening with friends and it came as a shock. But, immediately I knew it was something that could not to be ignored. It took 2 days before I had the courage to tell Robbie.
After 2 mammograms and 2 biopsies it was confirmed to be Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. Fortunately only in one breast. However it had spread to my lymph nodes. All of this was in January.
It is true that the enemy bombards you with fear. Every thought imaginable found it's way into my weak mind. But of course, immediately The Lord began flooding me with His truth and sending me people, books, texts, prayers and so many encouraging words. My journey had begun.
I had watched my sister Nancy with her battle against Colon Cancer just a few years before. She dove into natural treatments full force. Immediately I read a book she introduced me to that changed my life. It is "Let Food Be Your Medicine" by Dr. Don Colbert. He is a renown Christian Doctor from Orlando. I have always thought nutrition and what you eat is extremely important and was perplexed by my own weight gain in the past 8 years.
He basically takes the 'Mediterranean Diet' and tweaks it for every disease. I learned that Cancer FEEDS on SUGAR. That is it's #1 food source. Animal protein is it's 2nd food source. In the book he has a diet for 1st and 2nd stage cancer and 3rd and 4th stage cancer. I put myself on the latter diet, even though it has not been staged yet. The excess weight started falling off. This is before any treatment at all had begun. I started eating all organic - lots of vegetables - healthy protein and healthy high fat diet. I also learned that Cancer is an immune problem. We all have cancer cells in our body. In a healthy immune system, those cells will die.
We were raised as the 'Kool-Aid' generation - we were fed sugar constantly. To the generation before us, sugar was an occasional treat. For our generation it has been inserted into almost every bottle in your refrigerator you bought at a grocery store. Those of you who knew me at a younger age know that I was extremely thin in my early years. I weighed 106 lbs. from the age of 23 till 38 years old. I am almost 5'7' . People used to say to me " Oh you can probably eat anything you want and you don't gain weight." Unfortunately they were right! However, I was weakening my immune system. I have always had an interest in nutrition and for most of my life have eaten healthy - I thought! I have had to let go of the thoughts of 'why me'?
Any way I have lost 22 lbs. ON PURPOSE. So if you think I am too thin, I am so sorry. You are used to looking at "fat Americans". I am a perfect size 8.
I am happy and growing healthy and right in the middle of my recommended weight for my height! Not meant to offend anyone!
So right now - I am almost half way through my Chemo treatments. I wasn't going to do chemo. I made my decision because there was a trail of cancer cells heading to my chest wall and we wanted to stop the progression.
GOD SPEAKS - Robbie and I were sitting in the Surgeon's office and heard a word from the Lord. We have always called chemo poison. After hearing a firm exhortation on why I should take the chemo, I walked over to pay the bill. Robbie walked through the waiting room. When we got in the car. He said " a bazaar thing just happened to me. The Lord dropped this scripture in my spirit. "And They shall drink any deadly poison and it shall not harm them". The second part of it says - "And they shall lay their hands on the sick and they shall recover." Mark 16:15-18. I was amazed and knew God was saying something powerful. After much prayer I decided to do the chemo along with my many natural things I am doing. I am also working with a nutritionist to help build up my bones and immune system. God supernaturally sent her to me - what a huge blessing!
Since taking chemo - I have had few side effects than most. I have lost most of my hair (enough that I wear a wig!) No nausea and vomiting - thank you Lord!
I believe the combination of believing and preparing my body nutritionally has been the key.
I have to say that Robbie has been the most wonderful support to me through this crazy ordeal. We have been married 44 years this year. We have been through a lot of things together. Just a few years ago he had a massive heart attack. We have weathered many storms. There is nothing better than a husband who stands with you and is led by the Lord. His caring and giving of himself is truly a Godly characteristic. Just makes me love him more!
I'm realizing this could go on and on - and it will - but not all today! I want to say one more thing about Healing. I have been sent many many things about "how to get healed". How about 4 easy steps to get healed !! All with pure hears and wanting to help. For years Robbie and I have though it comical when someone writes a book "ALL ABOUT HEALING" and it is less than 1/2 inch thick! It is so presumptuous for any of us to think we have 'the answer' to healing, as if it some magical scriptural formula or specialty food or specialty drink. Instead - it's about spending time with The Healer. I don't find myself quoting a list of scriptures every morning. I KNOW those scriptures - they have been put in me for 40 years! I wake up every morning and say - "Father - show me what to do today" - Every morning He feeds me words of TRUTH - words of ENCOURAGEMENT - nourishing words that feed my spirit, give me strength and guide me for that day. I have fresh MANNA in the wilderness. Boy - is it wonderful!
Many years ago I wrote a song "I will give you water in the wilderness - for my chosen one's to drink - saith the Lord"
I am experiencing that beautiful flow of His Goodness!
My next Blog will be on the "Mighty Flow of His Blessings!!" It has been a wild ride and I want you to hear about these rich blessings!
Love you and hope this encourages you in some way. God is Faithful and is able to do exceedingly abundantly more than we ask or even think!
Martha
Back in mid December I felt an odd lump in my breast. We had just enjoyed a nice evening with friends and it came as a shock. But, immediately I knew it was something that could not to be ignored. It took 2 days before I had the courage to tell Robbie.
After 2 mammograms and 2 biopsies it was confirmed to be Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. Fortunately only in one breast. However it had spread to my lymph nodes. All of this was in January.
It is true that the enemy bombards you with fear. Every thought imaginable found it's way into my weak mind. But of course, immediately The Lord began flooding me with His truth and sending me people, books, texts, prayers and so many encouraging words. My journey had begun.
I had watched my sister Nancy with her battle against Colon Cancer just a few years before. She dove into natural treatments full force. Immediately I read a book she introduced me to that changed my life. It is "Let Food Be Your Medicine" by Dr. Don Colbert. He is a renown Christian Doctor from Orlando. I have always thought nutrition and what you eat is extremely important and was perplexed by my own weight gain in the past 8 years.
He basically takes the 'Mediterranean Diet' and tweaks it for every disease. I learned that Cancer FEEDS on SUGAR. That is it's #1 food source. Animal protein is it's 2nd food source. In the book he has a diet for 1st and 2nd stage cancer and 3rd and 4th stage cancer. I put myself on the latter diet, even though it has not been staged yet. The excess weight started falling off. This is before any treatment at all had begun. I started eating all organic - lots of vegetables - healthy protein and healthy high fat diet. I also learned that Cancer is an immune problem. We all have cancer cells in our body. In a healthy immune system, those cells will die.
We were raised as the 'Kool-Aid' generation - we were fed sugar constantly. To the generation before us, sugar was an occasional treat. For our generation it has been inserted into almost every bottle in your refrigerator you bought at a grocery store. Those of you who knew me at a younger age know that I was extremely thin in my early years. I weighed 106 lbs. from the age of 23 till 38 years old. I am almost 5'7' . People used to say to me " Oh you can probably eat anything you want and you don't gain weight." Unfortunately they were right! However, I was weakening my immune system. I have always had an interest in nutrition and for most of my life have eaten healthy - I thought! I have had to let go of the thoughts of 'why me'?
Any way I have lost 22 lbs. ON PURPOSE. So if you think I am too thin, I am so sorry. You are used to looking at "fat Americans". I am a perfect size 8.
I am happy and growing healthy and right in the middle of my recommended weight for my height! Not meant to offend anyone!
So right now - I am almost half way through my Chemo treatments. I wasn't going to do chemo. I made my decision because there was a trail of cancer cells heading to my chest wall and we wanted to stop the progression.
GOD SPEAKS - Robbie and I were sitting in the Surgeon's office and heard a word from the Lord. We have always called chemo poison. After hearing a firm exhortation on why I should take the chemo, I walked over to pay the bill. Robbie walked through the waiting room. When we got in the car. He said " a bazaar thing just happened to me. The Lord dropped this scripture in my spirit. "And They shall drink any deadly poison and it shall not harm them". The second part of it says - "And they shall lay their hands on the sick and they shall recover." Mark 16:15-18. I was amazed and knew God was saying something powerful. After much prayer I decided to do the chemo along with my many natural things I am doing. I am also working with a nutritionist to help build up my bones and immune system. God supernaturally sent her to me - what a huge blessing!
Since taking chemo - I have had few side effects than most. I have lost most of my hair (enough that I wear a wig!) No nausea and vomiting - thank you Lord!
I believe the combination of believing and preparing my body nutritionally has been the key.
I have to say that Robbie has been the most wonderful support to me through this crazy ordeal. We have been married 44 years this year. We have been through a lot of things together. Just a few years ago he had a massive heart attack. We have weathered many storms. There is nothing better than a husband who stands with you and is led by the Lord. His caring and giving of himself is truly a Godly characteristic. Just makes me love him more!
I'm realizing this could go on and on - and it will - but not all today! I want to say one more thing about Healing. I have been sent many many things about "how to get healed". How about 4 easy steps to get healed !! All with pure hears and wanting to help. For years Robbie and I have though it comical when someone writes a book "ALL ABOUT HEALING" and it is less than 1/2 inch thick! It is so presumptuous for any of us to think we have 'the answer' to healing, as if it some magical scriptural formula or specialty food or specialty drink. Instead - it's about spending time with The Healer. I don't find myself quoting a list of scriptures every morning. I KNOW those scriptures - they have been put in me for 40 years! I wake up every morning and say - "Father - show me what to do today" - Every morning He feeds me words of TRUTH - words of ENCOURAGEMENT - nourishing words that feed my spirit, give me strength and guide me for that day. I have fresh MANNA in the wilderness. Boy - is it wonderful!
Many years ago I wrote a song "I will give you water in the wilderness - for my chosen one's to drink - saith the Lord"
I am experiencing that beautiful flow of His Goodness!
My next Blog will be on the "Mighty Flow of His Blessings!!" It has been a wild ride and I want you to hear about these rich blessings!
Love you and hope this encourages you in some way. God is Faithful and is able to do exceedingly abundantly more than we ask or even think!
Martha
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